James 3:17
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. NKJV

I was recently involved in defusing a situation between one of our disciples and a close relative. Both sides had dug in and it looked like we were looking at a protracted struggle within the family. That’s when the Holy Spirit brought this scripture to memory. I’d first taken note of it while listening to a Bishop Dag message. I then counseled that the disciple should take this posture of being peaceable, gentle, and willing to yield, for this is the nature of the wisdom from above. The disciple did, and the situation is getting much better.

You may find yourself in a similar situation, where you are at odds with someone or some people, and you feel that you are right and they are not being fair in their assessment of the situation of how they are treating you. This can happen in a marriage, or between children and parents, or among workmates at office, or in a political or social environment. You may be tempted to dig in and demand to be treated fairly, and the more you do, the worse the situation may be getting. You may want to try the wisdom of God. How do you respond with God’s wisdom?

• First it’s pure. This means that you have no other motive than to make the relationship work. You are not using this situation as an opportunity to settle other grudges you’ve held in your heart.

• It’s peaceable. That means it’s peace-loving, unwarlike, non-belligerent, nonviolent, non-combative, non-aggressive, easy-going, meek, affable and civil.

• It’s gentle – kindly, tender, benign, humane, lenient, merciful, sympathetic, considerate, understanding, compassionate, tender-hearted.

• It’s willing to yield. This is the hard part. It’s letting the other party have their way… for now. Imagine that traffic junction where everyone has pointed their car in and there is a gridlock. The only way out is for a wise person to yield.

• Full of mercy and good fruits. This wisdom actually looks at the other person with empathy. They may be acting out of a lack of knowledge. Jesus prayed, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

• Without partiality and without hypocrisy. It doesn’t take sides and doesn’t pretend to be perfected in light of what the other person is going through.

May you enjoy this wisdom in your relationships.